How to set boundaries
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If you feel like you’re always busy but never seem to have time for the things you actually want to do, you’re not alone. Many women spend their days moving nonstop, checking things off, and keeping life running, yet still feel stuck, drained, and frustrated at the end of the day.
In this episode, Anna explains why this happens and introduces a powerful but often overlooked reason you may feel like you never have time. It’s not that you’re doing too little. It’s that you’re spending too much time maintaining your life instead of intentionally designing it. Once you see this pattern, everything starts to make sense.
Key Takeaways
- Recognize why being always busy does not mean you are being productive
- Understand how small tasks quietly expand to take over your time
- Learn why “doing” feels comfortable even when it keeps you stuck
- Discover a four-step shift to create space without letting life fall apart
- Start reclaiming time for what actually matters to you
Why You Feel Always Busy but Never Have Time
Many of the tasks that fill your day are necessary. Laundry, dishes, email, tidying, errands, and messages all keep life running. In the It’s About Time Academy, Anna calls these tasks pebbles. They are small, important, and unavoidable.
The problem is not that pebbles exist. The problem is what happens when they are allowed to take up all the space.
When every pebble is treated as urgent and handled the moment it appears, your time gets eaten up by constant maintenance. You stay busy all day long, but nothing truly moves forward. This is what Anna refers to as being stuck in maintenance mode.
Maintenance mode feels productive because you are always doing something. But it leaves no room for growth, creativity, rest, or joy.
Just Because You Can Do Something Does Not Mean You Should
At the heart of this episode is one powerful truth:
Just because something can be done right now does not mean it should be.
Many people default to doing what is immediately available. If there are a few clothes in the laundry basket, they do laundry. If one or two dishes are in the sink, they wash them. If an email comes in, they respond right away.
Over time, this creates the feeling that you are always busy. It is also a real-life example of Parkinson’s Law, which states that work expands to fill the time available for it. When there are no boundaries around maintenance tasks, they expand and crowd out everything else.
The Four-Step Shift Out of Maintenance Mode
To stop feeling always busy and start creating time for what matters, Anna teaches a simple four-step shift.
Step 1: Observe
The first step is awareness. Pay attention to the tasks you find yourself doing constantly. Notice what pulls your attention the moment it appears.
Ask yourself:
- Why does this feel urgent?
- What am I afraid will happen if I do not handle this right now?
This step is not about judgment. It is about noticing patterns so you can make intentional changes.
Step 2: Batch
Instead of doing maintenance tasks continuously, give them structure. Batching allows you to handle tasks less often but more intentionally.
Examples include:
- Doing laundry only on certain days or when the basket is full
- Tidying the house once a day instead of all day
- Checking email at set times instead of constantly
Batching does not mean neglecting responsibilities. It means deciding ahead of time when they get your attention.
Step 3: Shift the Mindset
Letting things sit can feel uncomfortable at first. For many people, doing feels safe and busy feels productive. Stillness can feel wrong.
This is where mindset matters. Letting something wait does not mean you do not care. It means you are choosing where your energy goes.
You are not neglecting your life. You are designing it.
Step 4: Put What You Want on the Calendar
If maintenance expands to fill all available time, then what you want must be scheduled first.
Time with friends, hobbies, deep work, rest, and creative thinking all need protected space. When these things stay vague, maintenance wins. When they are on the calendar, your priorities become clear.
One Small Action You Can Take This Week
You do not need to change everything at once. Start small.
Choose one maintenance task that makes you feel always busy. Decide in advance the day, time, or condition when you will handle it. This removes the need to constantly decide and frees up mental and emotional space.
Small boundaries create big shifts.
Examples of a Day
This works well for tasks that don’t need daily attention.
- Laundry happens on Saturdays
- Errands happen on Fridays
- Meal planning happens on Sundays
- Digital cleanup happens on the first Monday of the month
Key idea to remember: “If today isn’t the day, I don’t think about it.”
Examples of a Time
This is great for tasks that tend to interrupt focus.
- Email gets checked at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m.
- Tidying happens after dinner
- Slack messages get answered at the top of each hour
- Paperwork gets handled from 1–2 p.m. on Tuesdays
A good reminder: “I don’t do this all day — I do it then.”
Examples of a Condition
This is perfect for people who resist rigid schedules.
- Laundry happens when the basket is full
- Dishwasher gets run when it’s completely loaded
- Groceries get ordered when the running list hits 10 items
- Inbox gets processed when I’m in a focused work block
How to think about this? The condition makes the decision for you.
Final Thoughts
If you are always busy but never have time for what matters, you are not failing. You are likely over-maintaining.
You do not need to do less. You simply need to stop doing things so often.Creating space is not about abandoning responsibility. It is about making intentional choices so your time reflects what truly matters to you.
Related Episodes
- Ep. 178 – Task Batching vs. Time Blocking: What’s the Difference? Which One’s Better for Time Management?
- Ep. 56 – It’s Not Just for Cookies: How to Take Back Your Time with Task Batching featuring Time Management Coach Amanda Warfield
- Ep. 298 – How to Stop Clutter from Stealing Your Time, Health, and Energy with Emily McDermott
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