How to set boundaries
LISTEN IN APPLE PODCASTS | LISTEN IN SPOTIFY | LISTEN IN STITCHER

Have you ever stood in front of your planner—maybe it’s wide open, color-coded, even filled with the cutest stickers—and thought,
“Okay… this is it. This time, it’s going to work.”
And then… it doesn’t.
You end the day feeling more frazzled than focused. Your sticky notes are scattered. Your spreadsheet is ignored. And that hopeful feeling you had when you set it all up? Gone.
And if you’ve been there more than once…
If you’ve tried system after system, app after app, planner after planner…
Only to feel like none of them actually work for you?
Friend, you are not alone.
And you are definitely not the problem.
That feeling right there? It’s called system fatigue.
System fatigue is what happens when you’ve tried every tool, every planner, every routine you can think of… and nothing seems to stick.
It’s that burnout that comes from trying to get organized over and over again—and still feeling like you’re spinning your wheels.
Hey friends, and welcome to episode 272 of It’s About Time, a podcast about work, life, and balance. I’m your host, time management coach Anna Dearmon Kornick, and in this episode, we’re talking about something that so many women experience—but almost no one talks about:
System fatigue.
You’ve tried. You’ve done your research. You’ve even bought the highlighters.
And still, the overwhelm won’t budge. You keep thinking, “Maybe this next thing will finally fix it.”
And when it doesn’t? It’s easy to think you’re the common denominator.
But that’s not true.
Not even a little bit.
In this episode, I’m talking about:
- Why the systems you’ve tried aren’t working—and why it’s not your fault
- The subtle but powerful signs of system fatigue (and how to know if you’re in it)
- What to look for when it’s time to rebuild a system that fits your life
- How to shorten the gap between chaos and calm—without doing it alone
“Just Get Organized” Doesn’t Work with Broken Systems
A few weeks ago, I shared a bonus episode where I talked about one of the most challenging seasons in my career—when I was working at a museum, and thought I’d finally escaped the burnout of crisis communications.
If you listened to that episode, you’ll remember that I walked into that job thinking,
“Okay. This is it. A slower pace. No emergencies. No late-night press releases. Just a calm, creative environment where I can finally breathe.”
But I was wrong.
What I found instead was constant disorganization, constant interruptions, and expectations that I just couldn’t keep up with.
My boss—who had held my job before me—had her own way of staying organized. So I tried to use her systems. I tried to stay on top of things the way she did.
But those systems felt like a mess to me.
And then there was this one moment that I’ll never forget.
We were in a team meeting, and I was doing what I’d always done—taking notes on my laptop. I’d been doing that for years in every job I’d ever had. It helped me stay organized, helped me capture things quickly, and I honestly didn’t think twice about it.
Until I got pulled aside afterward.
I was told that taking notes on a laptop was “poor form.”
That it wasn’t the way things were done around here.
And I was mortified.
Here I was, trying to stay on top of everything in a fast-paced, demanding role—and I was being corrected for using the one tool that actually helped me keep up.
It felt like slamming into a brick wall.
I remember thinking, “If I can’t take notes the way I need to… how am I supposed to do this job at all?”
I felt like I couldn’t win.
Like every time I tried to stay ahead, the rules shifted—and I was right back at zero.
So I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I went into full-on fix-it mode.
I tried everything:
Dry erase boards. Sticky notes. Spreadsheets. Color-coded planners. Time blocking.
Every system promised peace. But none of them stuck.
Each one helped for a day or two—maybe even a week—but then something would shift. A deadline would move. A coworker would drop something on my plate. A new project would pop up without warning.
And just like that, the system would break. Again.
And when that kept happening, over and over, I didn’t just feel disorganized… I felt ashamed.
I started to believe I was the common denominator. That maybe I just wasn’t the kind of person who could get it together.
But here’s what I didn’t realize back then:
I wasn’t failing because I didn’t try hard enough.
I was failing because I was trying to use systems that weren’t built for the life I was actually living.
I didn’t need to work harder.
I didn’t need a better planner.
I needed a system that made sense for me.
And I know I’m not the only one who’s felt that way.
Kimberly’s Story: When a System Stops Working
One of my clients, Kimberly, had a similar experience—just in a different season of life.
When we first started working together, Kimberly was a CPA, running her own business, and a mom of two. Now she’s a mom of four! So to say she had a lot on her plate would be an understatement.
She’s brilliant, she’s driven, and she’s someone who gets things done.
But even with all of that, she felt like her system just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
At the time, she was running her entire life—home, business, all the moving pieces—off of a single handwritten to-do list.
And to be fair, it had worked. For a while.
But her life had changed. It had sped up.
And that simple system that once helped her stay grounded?
It just couldn’t keep up with the speed of her reality anymore.
So we worked together to lay the foundation for a new system—a digital one—that was flexible and adaptable.
Something that could move at the speed of her life, and grow with her as her responsibilities shifted.
And the best part?
It wasn’t about throwing everything out and starting from scratch.
It was about asking better questions:
What season of life am I in right now?
What do I actually need from my system?
And what kind of structure would work with who I am—not against me?
Once we looked at her current season—and her personality—we built a system that actually matched her energy, her priorities, and her values.
And guess what?
That’s when everything started to shift.
Because when you build a system that reflects your real life, not your ideal life…
you finally stop fighting your time—and start feeling in control again.
What To Do When “Just Get Organized” Isn’t Working: Find the Right System
So if you’ve ever said,
“I’ve tried everything, and nothing works for me,”
I want you to know this:
You’re not a failure because a system didn’t stick.
You’re not broken because your planner is collecting dust.
You’re not behind because you couldn’t make someone else’s method work for your life.
You were just handed the wrong tools.
Most systems weren’t designed for real women in real life.
They weren’t built to bend when your kid gets sick, or you have a last-minute client meeting, or you’re trying to run a business and a household while staying somewhat sane.
They were built to be rigid.
And I’m not going to name names—but I can think of several systems that have become wildly popular thanks to bestselling books and productivity experts.
They promise structure. Results. A way to finally get your life together.
But what they don’t tell you is that those systems are nearly impossible to follow perfectly.
They require a level of consistency and control that just doesn’t exist in real life—especially if you’re a working mom trying to keep all the plates spinning.
And when you can’t follow it perfectly?
You feel like the failure. Again.
But here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear:
The right system doesn’t ask you to change who you are.
It meets you where you are—and grows with you.
It doesn’t demand more time, more energy, or more hustle.
It offers you clarity.
And clarity is what makes room for peace, flexibility, and freedom.
Why Trial and Error is Okay
Now—I also want to say this:
If you’ve tried a bunch of things that didn’t work,
That doesn’t mean you’ve been doing it wrong.
Trial and error is part of the process. It’s how we learn.
It’s how we figure out what doesn’t work—so we can get closer to what will.
You probably won’t find your perfect rhythm on the first try.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible.
And the truth is—there is a way to shorten the distance between Point A: feeling overwhelmed, reactive, and spread thin…
And Point B: feeling calm, prepared, and ready for anything.
It starts with knowing yourself.
And getting clear on your vision and your values.
Because when you know what matters most—what really matters—
Then you can build a system that supports you, not just your to-do list.
And I get it—if you’re listening and thinking,
“That sounds great, but I don’t have the time or brainpower to build anything right now. Just give me the steps…”
Oh friend—I hear you.
When you’re tired and stretched thin, the last thing you want is to figure it all out on your own.
And here’s the good news:
You don’t have to.
There is a step-by-step way forward.
There is a way to build something sustainable—without starting from scratch.
You don’t need to create the whole system from thin air.
You just need the right framework, and someone to walk alongside you while you customize it for your life.
Join the Take Back Your Time Challenge
And if you’re listening right now and thinking,
“Okay… I’m ready. I don’t want another rigid system. I want something that actually works for me…”
Then I’ve got something really special coming your way.
It’s called the Take Back Your Time Challenge, and it kicks off on May 12.
This isn’t about adding more to your plate.
And it’s definitely not about squeezing yourself into another one-size-fits-all productivity plan.
Instead, it’s about helping you get crystal clear on what matters,
so you can finally create a rhythm that fits your real life.
Your energy. Your values. Your season.
It’s a guided experience designed to help you move from chaos to clarity—without doing it alone, and without figuring it all out from scratch.
Registration opens soon, so make sure you keep listening over the next week. I’ll be sharing more details about how to join, and I cannot wait to walk through it with you.
Ditch “Just Get Organized” and Ask Yourself This
If you’re feeling discouraged—or like you’ve tried everything and nothing sticks— I want you to take a breath and ask yourself:
“What’s not working for me right now—and why?”
Not from a place of blame.
Not with a heavy sigh or a mental spiral.
But from a place of curiosity and compassion.
Maybe the system isn’t flexible enough.
Maybe it was designed for a version of you that no longer exists.
Maybe it doesn’t reflect your season, your energy, or your actual life anymore.
Just start noticing.
And if you feel like writing it down, even better—
Make a simple list:
- What’s not working
- Why it’s not working
- How it’s making you feel
That awareness? It’s your starting point.
Because the truth is, you can build something better.
You can find a rhythm that works for you.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
You’re not too late.
You’re not too much.
You’re not too far gone.
You’re just ready for a new way forward.
If this episode hit home for you, would you share it with a friend?
Especially the one who’s been saying, “I just can’t keep up anymore,”
Or the one who keeps buying new planners, hoping this one will finally fix it?
Send it her way. She needs this, too.
Related Episodes:
Be the first to comment