How to set boundaries
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Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you work… there’s always something else waiting?
Like you’re living in this never-ending loop of playing catch-up—but no matter how much you do, you never actually catch up?
Yeah. You’re not imagining it. And you’re definitely not alone.
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I’m just bad at time management,”—I want you to stop right there.
Because today, we’re flipping that belief on its head.
That feeling of constantly being behind? It’s not a personal failure. It’s not that you’re not trying hard enough. It’s not that you’re lazy or disorganized or “just not a planner.”
It’s something else entirely. And once you see it, you won’t be able to unsee it.
In this episode, I’m sharing the real reason you never feel caught up—and it has a lot more to do with perfectionism, broken systems, and unrealistic expectations than it does with you.
So, in episode 271, I’m talking about:
- why you always feel like you’re behind—no matter how much you get done
- the surprising truth about time management that no one’s told you
- three sneaky reasons your to-do list never feels finished
- and how to finally step off the hamster wheel and into a rhythm that actually works
So if you’re ready to step off the hamster wheel and start seeing your time through a whole new lens—this one’s for you.
I Thought I Was Bad at Time Management
I still remember what my mornings used to feel like.
Not peaceful. Not productive.
But heavy. Like the weight of an entire day was already pressing down on me the second I opened my eyes.
And honestly… I dreaded waking up.
Because most nights, I was working from bed—laptop open, emails still coming in, trying to finish up something I didn’t get to during the day. Midnight, sometimes later. Then I’d crash, sleep terribly, and wake up already behind.
I was late constantly. Not because I didn’t care—but because I was exhausted. Drained. There was no real end to my day, so there was no real beginning either.
And then came the moment I’ll never forget.
My supervisor called me into her office. I figured we were going to talk about a project or a pitch.
But instead, she slid a piece of paper across the desk.
It was a list.
Every time I had been late in the last three months. Seventeen times.
Seventeen.
I wanted to throw up. Or disappear. Or dissolve into a puddle right there in the floor. It was mortifying. I was ashamed. Embarrassed. And all I could think was, How did I let it get this bad?
But the truth is—I was working so hard. I wasn’t being lazy. I wasn’t trying to get away with anything. I was hustling nonstop, doing everything I thought I was supposed to do… and still, it wasn’t enough.
And that moment stuck with me—not just because of the shame, but because deep down, I knew I couldn’t keep living like that. I just didn’t know another way.
I thought I had a time management problem. That I was the problem.
But I’ve since learned… that’s not the real reason I felt so behind.
And if you’ve ever had a moment like that—if you’ve ever felt like you’re dropping balls, letting people down, failing at “adulting”—I want you to hear this next part loud and clear:
You’re not the problem.
Let’s talk about what is.
You’re Not Bad at Time Management: You’re Operating Under Broken Expectations
Here’s what I wish someone had told me back then:
That feeling of being behind all the time? It’s not because you’re bad at time management.
It’s because you’re operating under broken expectations.
We’ve been taught that being productive means producing non-stop. That success equals doing more. Checking more boxes. Pushing harder.
But here’s the thing no one tells you: when you’re living in that constant state of urgency—with no real system, no clear priorities, and no boundaries—everything feels like it’s on fire.
You’re not behind because you’re lazy.
You’re behind because the bar has been set impossibly high—and it keeps moving.
We expect ourselves to be everything to everyone. To respond to emails instantly, run a household, be present with our families, climb the ladder, volunteer, meal prep, drink water, relax… and somehow do it all without ever dropping a ball.
It’s perfectionism in disguise. And it’s exhausting.
The truth is: most of us were never taught how to manage our time in a way that actually works for real life.
We were handed planners and productivity apps and told to “just get organized.”
But no one handed us a system. A structure. A rhythm that helps us focus on what matters most and let go of the rest.
And without that? You’ll always feel like you’re spinning.
So let me say this clearly:
You are not bad at time management.
You’ve just never been taught a system that actually works for your life.
And once you do have that? Everything starts to shift.
You stop measuring your worth in output.
You stop confusing urgency with importance.
And you finally start moving through your days with a little more clarity—and a lot more peace.
Why You Think You’re Bad at Time Management
So let’s break it down.
There are three big reasons why you might feel like you’re always behind—no matter how hard you work:
1. You’re living by unrealistic expectations
We’re trying to cram 40 hours of work into 24… while also managing kids, housework, relationships, and maybe even trying to rest somewhere in there.
Somewhere along the way, “having it all” became “doing it all”—and the bar for what a ‘productive day’ looks like got completely out of control.
The expectation isn’t just high—it’s inhuman.
And when you don’t meet it? You assume you’re the problem, instead of questioning the expectation itself.
2. You’re measuring productivity in output, not clarity
We’ve been taught that busy = important. That if you’re not constantly doing, you must be falling behind.
But being productive isn’t about how much you get done—it’s about getting the right things done.
Without clarity on what actually matters, everything feels urgent… and nothing feels finished.
So you end every day asking, “Did I even do enough?” even though you barely sat down.
3. You don’t have a system that works with your life
Maybe you’ve tried planners. Time-blocking. Task apps. Bullet journaling. You start strong, but it doesn’t stick—and you blame yourself.
But here’s the truth: if you don’t have a simple, flexible system that’s built around your actual life—your values, your energy, your season—you’re always going to feel like you’re juggling spaghetti.
It’s not you. It’s the lack of structure.
The right system doesn’t just help you stay on track. It helps you breathe.
So again—say it with me:
You’re not bad at time management.
You’ve just never been taught a system that actually works for your life.
How to Take Back Your Time
Okay, so maybe by now you’re thinking:
“Alright… you’ve just described my life. So now what?”
I’m so glad you asked.
Because in just a few weeks, I’m hosting something really special—and honestly, it’s been on my heart for a long time.
It’s called the Take Back Your Time Challenge.
It’s designed for women just like you—smart, capable, doing all the things—who are tired of feeling like time is constantly slipping through their fingers.
This isn’t about hustle. It’s not about squeezing more into your day.
It’s about finally stepping off the hamster wheel and into a rhythm that actually makes sense. For your life. Your energy. Your season.
It’s going to be simple. Supportive. And it’s going to help you start making real changes that actually stick.
I’ll be sharing more details soon—but if you’re nodding along with anything I’ve said today… I made this for you.
Ask Yourself This Question During the Week
Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with a question.
Something to carry with you into the rest of your week. Something that might just shift the way you move through your days.
The next time you hear that voice in your head whisper,
“You’re behind.”
I want you to pause…
Take a breath…
And ask yourself:
“Am I actually behind?
Or am I expecting myself to be superhuman?”
Because so often, we confuse being busy with being behind.
But the truth is, you’re doing more than you realize.
And chances are, the pressure you’re feeling?
It’s coming from expectations that were never fair in the first place.
So this week, give yourself permission to question the pressure.
Notice it. Name it. And gently remind yourself:
You don’t have to do it all to be enough.
If this episode had you nodding along…
If it felt like I was reading your mind just a little bit…
I want you to do two things.
First, share this episode with a friend—especially the one who’s always saying, “Ugh, I’m so behind.”
She needs to hear this. And she needs to know she’s not the problem either.
And second—make sure you come back for Thursday’s bonus episode.
It’s a personal one.
I’ll be sharing my story of how I had to learn time management the hard way— How I went from working late into the night, constantly feeling like I was failing, to building the foundation that became everything I teach now.
If you’ve ever felt like you were drowning in to-dos…
You’re going to want to hear this one.
Until then—
Take a breath. Give yourself some grace.
And remember:
You are not behind.
You’re just beginning a new way forward.
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