How to set boundaries
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You know that moment when you walk into a room and suddenly forget why you’re there? Maybe you were heading to the kitchen to grab something, but as soon as you step through the doorway, it’s like your brain just hit the reset button. Sound familiar?
Or what about those times when you suddenly remember you scheduled coffee with a friend—or worse, a doctor’s appointment—only to realize you were supposed to be there five minutes ago?
If you know what it’s like to feel forgetful and a little scatterbrained, you’re not alone—and that’s exactly what we’re diving into in this episode.
Today, we’re talking about:
- The “Doorway Effect” and how it impacts your memory
- My go-to sticky note strategy for quickly combating forgetfulness and staying focused
- How using a clipboard can help you stay on track when you’re trying to remember new routines
- And the importance of having a consistent capture system to keep track of all your tasks and to-dos
Feeling scatterbrained and forgetful doesn’t have to be “just the way it is.” Keep listening, and you’ll discover simple strategies to help you feel more calm, prepared, and ready for anything.
The Doorway Effect
Alright, let’s kick things off by talking about something that many of us have experienced but might not fully understand: the “Doorway Effect.”
So, picture this—you’re working at your desk when you suddenly remember you need to grab something from the kitchen. You get up, walk to the kitchen, but as soon as you step through the doorway, poof! You have no idea why you’re there. It’s like the thought just vanished into thin air.
This phenomenon is called the Doorway Effect, and it’s actually a real thing, backed by science. Researchers have found that our brains tend to compartmentalize tasks and information by location. So, when we move from one room to another—especially when passing through a doorway—our brains can treat this as a signal to start a new “scene.” It’s almost like your brain is closing a mental chapter and opening a new one.
In practical terms, this means that when you walk through a doorway, your brain might subconsciously decide that whatever you were just thinking about is no longer relevant. It files it away, making room for the new environment you’ve entered, and suddenly, you’re standing in the kitchen with no clue why you’re there.
Now, you might be wondering—what can we do about it? After all, we can’t exactly avoid walking through doorways all day! The good news is, there are some simple strategies to help minimize the impact of the Doorway Effect.
First, try saying the task or reason for your move aloud as you walk. For example, if you’re heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, say to yourself, “I’m getting a glass of water.” It might feel a little silly, but this simple action helps reinforce the task in your mind, making it less likely to slip away when you change environments.
Another helpful trick is to jot down a quick note before you get up. Keep a small notepad or your phone handy so that whenever you think of something you need to do, you can write it down immediately. This way, if you do forget why you went to the kitchen, you can just check your note and get back on track.
It’s amazing how something as simple as moving through a doorway can affect our memory, but by being a little more mindful and using these strategies, we can reduce those frustrating moments of forgetfulness.
Now that we’ve tackled the Doorway Effect, let’s talk about another strategy I love to keep forgetfulness at bay—my “When I Sit Back Down” sticky note method. If you’ve ever struggled to pick up where you left off after getting interrupted, this tip is going to be a game-changer for you.
The “When I Sit Back Down” Sticky Note Strategy
Now that we’ve talked about how to keep those doorway-induced memory lapses in check, let’s dive into a strategy that’s been a lifesaver for me—and I know it’ll be helpful for you too. I call it the “When I Sit Back Down” sticky note strategy.
So, let me ask you this: How many times have you been working on something, gotten up to take a break, handle a quick task, or maybe just grab a snack, and when you sit back down, you’ve completely lost your train of thought? You stare at your screen or your notebook, trying to remember exactly where you left off. Like… What was I just doing?
Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. In fact, studies have shown that it can take an average of 23 minutes to regain your focus after you’ve been interrupted. That’s 23 minutes spent trying to get back into the groove you were in before you got up.
Here’s where the “When I Sit Back Down” sticky note comes in. This is a super simple, yet incredibly effective, technique that I use to make sure I can jump right back into my work without missing a beat.
Here’s how it works: before you get up from your desk, take a sticky note and write down exactly what you were doing and what you need to do next when you return. Be specific—don’t just write “work on project.” Instead, write something like, “Finish writing the conclusion for the report” or “Reply to Sarah’s email about the budget.”
This sticky note acts like a bookmark for your brain. It tells you exactly where to pick back up when you sit back down, so you don’t have to waste time trying to remember what you were doing.
Let me give you a real-life example. Say I’m working on outlining a podcast episode, but I need to step away to let Muffin out the back door. Muffin is my fluffy little, half pomeranian half maltese pup. Before I get up to leave my desk, I’ll write on a sticky note, “Section 2, second paragraph.” Then, I stick that note right on my keyboard or on the edge of my monitor where I can’t miss it.
When I come back, instead of spending precious minutes trying to figure out what I was doing or, worse, getting sidetracked by something else like email or instagram, I can glance at that sticky note and immediately get back to work. It’s such a small step, but it makes a huge difference.
This strategy is also great for those days when you know you’re going to be interrupted or pulled in different directions—like when you’re working from home and managing the kids at the same time. That little sticky note can be your secret weapon for staying focused and productive, no matter what else is going on around you.
So, the next time you’re about to step away from your work, take just a few seconds to jot down a “When I Sit Back Down” note. I promise, it’ll save you time, reduce frustration, and help you stay on track with your tasks.
A Clipboard is your Memory’s BFF
Now that you’ve got the scoop on how a simple sticky note can save you tons of time and help you get back on track, let’s talk about another tool that’s been incredibly helpful for me and my clients, especially when it comes to building and sticking to new routines.
Let me introduce you to the humble clipboard. Yep, that’s right—a clipboard. It might not sound like much, but when you’re trying to establish a new routine—whether it’s a morning routine, evening routine, or even a workday startup or shutdown routine—a clipboard can be your best friend.
Here’s the thing about routines: when you’re first starting out, it can be really easy to forget what comes next, especially if you’re juggling a lot of other things. Maybe you’re trying to remember to make your bed, pack lunches, and squeeze in a quick workout before heading out the door in the morning, but somehow, something always gets missed. This is where the clipboard comes in.
Here’s how I like to use it: Start by typing up your routine step by step, including the times if you’re working with a specific schedule. For example, your morning routine might look something like this:
- 6:00 AM: Wake up, drink a glass of water
- 6:10 AM: Stretch for 10 minutes
- 6:20 AM: Start coffee, make bed
- 6:30 AM: Get dressed, check calendar for the day
Once you’ve got your routine typed up, print it out and clip it to your clipboard. Keep that clipboard somewhere accessible—maybe on your nightstand or your kitchen counter. The key is to carry it with you as you go through your routine, checking off each step as you complete it.
Now, you might be thinking, “Anna, isn’t that a bit over the top? Do I really need to walk around with a clipboard just to get through my morning?” And I totally get it—it might feel a little extra at first. But trust me, when you’re trying to ingrain a new habit or routine, having that physical reminder in your hand can make all the difference.
The clipboard serves two purposes. First, it’s a visual and tactile reminder of what comes next, which is super helpful when you’re still in the process of memorizing your routine. Second, it keeps you accountable. There’s something about physically checking off each item that gives you a sense of accomplishment and keeps you motivated to keep going.
And here’s the best part: you won’t need the clipboard forever. As you get more comfortable with your routine and it becomes second nature, you’ll find yourself relying on it less and less. Eventually, you won’t need it at all. But in the early stages, when you’re trying to build consistency, that clipboard can be a game-changer.
So, if you’ve been struggling to stick to a new routine, give this clipboard method a try. It’s a simple, inexpensive tool that can help you stay on track until your routine becomes second nature.
You Need a Capture System
Alright, we’ve talked about how to overcome the Doorway Effect, how to quickly regain focus with the “When I Sit Back Down” sticky note, and how a clipboard can keep you on track with new routines. Now, let’s dive into one final strategy that’s absolutely essential for staying organized and keeping those scatterbrained moments to a minimum—having a consistent capture system.
So, what exactly do I mean by a “capture system”? Simply put, a capture system is a reliable place where you can jot down everything that comes to mind throughout your day—your tasks, to-dos, ideas, reminders, grocery list items, and even those random thoughts that pop into your head while you’re doing something else.
Here’s the thing: our brains are amazing, but they’re not designed to hold onto all the little details of our lives. If you’re trying to keep everything in your head, it’s only a matter of time before something slips through the cracks. And let’s be honest—trying to mentally juggle a million things is exhausting!
That’s where a consistent capture system comes in. By writing things down in one reliable place, you’re not only freeing up mental space, but you’re also creating a sense of calm and control. You know that everything you need to remember is safely stored, and you don’t have to worry about forgetting it later.
Now, here’s the key: I recommend having three specific tools as part of your capture system—a high-tech tool, a low-tech tool, and a physical inbox. I talk more about this in Chapter 8 of my book, Time Management Essentials.
Let’s break these down:
Your High-Tech Capture Tool
First, the high-tech tool. This could be a notes app on your phone, a digital task manager like Asana or Trello, or any tool that can be accessed on multiple devices and stored in the cloud. The beauty of a high-tech tool is that it’s with you wherever you go, and you can easily update it in real-time. Whether you’re at your desk, out running errands, or waiting in line, you can quickly jot down tasks, ideas, or reminders and know they’re safely stored and accessible from anywhere.
Your Low-Tech Capture Tool
Next, the low-tech tool. This could be a notebook, planner, or notepad—something tangible that you can write in by hand. There’s something about physically writing things down that can be really grounding and help you process your thoughts more clearly. Plus, sometimes it’s just faster and easier to grab a pen and paper. Your low-tech tool is perfect for brainstorming, daily to-do lists, or even just capturing ideas when you’re unplugged from your devices.
Your Physical Inbox
Finally, the physical inbox. This is a dedicated spot in your home or office where you can place all the physical items that need your attention—things like mail, forms that need to be signed, receipts, or even that permission slip from your kid’s school. Having a physical inbox ensures that important papers don’t get lost in the shuffle and helps you keep your workspace tidy. Just like with your high-tech and low-tech tools, it’s important to regularly process what’s in your inbox so nothing gets missed.
By using these three tools together—a high-tech tool, a low-tech tool, and a physical inbox—you’re covering all your bases. You have a digital space for capturing things on the go, a tangible space for writing things down by hand, and a physical space for managing those important papers. And the best part? Everything is organized and in one of three places, so you’re not scrambling to remember where you put that important note or to-do.
Remember, though, that capturing something is just the first step. The next step is regularly reviewing what you’ve captured and taking action on it. Set aside a few minutes each day or week to go through your notes, update your tasks, and make sure nothing falls through the cracks.
Having a consistent capture system, with these three tools working together, can make a world of difference in helping you feel more calm, prepared, and ready for anything life throws your way.
So, if you’ve been feeling scattered or overwhelmed, start by setting up this three-part capture system today. Trust me, it’s one of the best things you can do to stay organized and keep those forgetful moments at bay.
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