How to set boundaries
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Have you ever just felt stuck in a rut? Like you’re just kind of spinning your wheels and every day kinda feels… the same. Like you’re just going through the motions of life – trying to get to the end of the day…. Trying to survive the week and so on.
If you’re feeling that now, or if you’ve ever felt it – I want you to know that you’re not alone.
The thing about feeling stuck is that it can creep up on you.
One day, you’re just going about your daily routine, and then suddenly, you realize you’re not feeling excited anymore. Maybe you feel drained, uninspired, or just… stagnant. Stuck. And that feeling can be hard to shake. But here’s the good news: feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re done. In fact, it might just be a sign that you’re ready for something new, something meaningful, and something that aligns more with who you are and who you want to become.
So today, we’re talking about:
- How to identify why you’re feeling stuck and what it really meant to be “in a rut”
- How to reconnect with your vision to find your “why”
- Why you need to get clear on your values to get unstuck
- How to create a List of 100 Dreams to get inspired and excited
What does it mean to feel ‘stuck in a rut’?
Alright, so let’s start by getting real about what it means to feel ‘stuck in a rut.’ You might already have that feeling—you know, that sense of waking up and moving through your day, but without much excitement or inspiration. Or maybe it feels like everything has become a little too routine, like life is on autopilot. This sense of ‘stuck’ can feel exhausting, and it’s frustrating because it often feels like something you just can’t shake.
But here’s the thing: recognizing that you’re in a rut is actually the first big step toward getting out of it. A lot of times, we’re just so busy that we don’t stop to think about why we feel stuck. So right now, let’s slow down for a moment and try to define what ‘stuck’ looks like for you personally. Because, believe it or not, that feeling of being stuck? It’s different for everyone.
For some people, being in a rut means you’re just plain bored with your routine. Everything’s become predictable. But for others, it might feel more like burnout. You’re working hard, doing all the things, but you’re just not seeing the progress or feeling the satisfaction you hoped for. Or maybe it’s something else entirely—it could be a restlessness, a sense that something is missing, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it. Whatever it is, that feeling of being in a rut usually shows up as this little signal that some part of your life is out of alignment.
So, I want to encourage you to take a minute—maybe even grab a journal or open up a note on your phone—and ask yourself a few questions. These aren’t questions with right or wrong answers, but ones that can help you dig a little deeper into what’s going on underneath the surface.
Start by asking yourself, What’s changed in my life that’s led me to feel this way? Maybe you’ve had a lot of responsibilities added at work, or maybe it’s just that everything has started to feel repetitive. Or, What am I missing in my day-to-day life that I used to have? This one is key because sometimes, feeling stuck is actually about missing something that used to bring us joy or energy. Maybe it was a hobby, time with friends, or simply having moments of quiet for yourself. And finally, ask yourself, What am I craving right now that I haven’t given myself permission to pursue? Sometimes, feeling stuck is our mind’s way of nudging us toward something new or something we’ve been putting off.
Remember, there’s no need to rush through these questions. It’s okay if the answers don’t come immediately. Just the act of sitting with them can start to bring clarity and help you recognize what needs to change. And here’s the powerful part: once you know why you feel stuck, you’ve already taken the first step in making a shift. Instead of staying in that foggy feeling, you’re starting to get curious about what’s really going on—and that’s how we get unstuck.
So as you start to figure out what’s been keeping you stuck, you’re paving the way to create new goals and aspirations that really align with who you are right now. And that leads us perfectly into the next step: reconnecting with your vision and values. Because sometimes, we feel stuck simply because we’ve lost sight of the big picture.
Reconnect with Your Vision and Values to Find Your Why
Here’s the thing: When you’re in the thick of managing your responsibilities, it’s easy to go into autopilot mode and lose sight of the bigger picture. You’re taking care of the kids, handling work, running errands, and before you know it, weeks or even months go by, and you realize you haven’t thought about your longer-term vision in ages. Sound familiar?
What is a Vision?
Now, let’s break it down. First, let’s talk about vision. Your vision is essentially where you want to go in life. It’s that bigger picture that gives your daily actions meaning. But often, when we’re feeling stuck, we haven’t revisited that vision in a long time. Maybe your vision has shifted, or maybe you’ve lost sight of what you really want because you’ve been caught up in the daily grind. So take a moment to ask yourself, What kind of life do I want to be moving toward? What do I want my days, my work, and my relationships to look like?”
And remember, your vision doesn’t have to be super specific, and it’s okay if it changes over time. The point is to reconnect with what excites you, what feels purposeful, and what would make you feel fulfilled. Your vision is there to inspire you and help you steer your life in a direction that feels right for you.
What are Values?
Then there’s values. While your vision is about where you’re going, your values are about how you want to get there. Your values are those core beliefs and principles that guide your choices and behaviors. They might be things like family, integrity, growth, creativity, or kindness—whatever resonates most deeply with you. And when we’re feeling off or stuck, it’s often because we’re out of alignment with our values.
So here’s an exercise to help you get clear on this. Think about a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled, most excited, or the most ‘yourself.’ What was happening then? What were you doing? And what values were you honoring at that time? Maybe you were helping others, which aligns with a value of service. Or maybe you were learning something new, which aligns with a value of growth. This can be a powerful way to identify your values and see how they might be showing up—or missing—in your current life.
Now, take those values and compare them to what’s happening in your life right now. Are there areas where you’re out of alignment? Maybe you value creativity, but you’re not doing anything that allows you to express it. Or perhaps you value quality time with family, but work has been taking up all your time. This misalignment can be one of the biggest reasons we feel stuck, and recognizing it can give you insight into what needs to change.
Ultimately, when you reconnect with your vision and values, you’re also reconnecting with your ‘why.’ And that ‘why’ is the reason behind your goals and your actions. It’s what motivates you to keep going, even when things get tough. When you know your why, you’re no longer just moving through your to-do list—you’re moving toward a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
Create (or Revisit) Your List of 100 Dreams
Okay, now that you’ve taken the time to reconnect with your vision and values, it’s time to bring in some inspiration and excitement. And one of the best ways to do that is by creating—or revisiting—what’s called the ‘List of 100 Dreams.’ This exercise is powerful because it takes you out of the day-to-day mindset and encourages you to think big, dream big, and connect with what really lights you up. I discovered this exercise when I first read the book 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam.
So, what exactly is a List of 100 Dreams? This list is simply a place for you to write down anything you want to do, see, experience, learn, or achieve in your lifetime. Think of it as your own personal bucket list—but without the pressure! It doesn’t have to be about huge life goals. In fact, the best part about this exercise is that it allows you to include dreams both big and small. You could write down ‘travel to Italy’ right alongside ‘try a new coffee shop in my town.’ It’s really about capturing anything that excites you or brings you joy.
Now, I know 100 might sound like a big number, and that’s actually part of the magic of this exercise. When you challenge yourself to list out that many dreams, you’re forced to dig deep and go beyond the obvious. The first few dreams might come easily, but as you keep going, you start to uncover dreams you may have forgotten or ideas you didn’t even realize you had. It pushes you to think beyond what you ‘should’ want and lets you focus on what truly inspires you.
And if you’ve already created a List of 100 Dreams in the past, I encourage you to pull it out and take a look. What still excites you? What feels outdated or no longer aligns with who you are now? Revisiting your list from time to time can be a great reminder of how you’ve grown and what still feels important. You might be surprised by how many dreams still light you up—or by how many new ones you want to add.
Here’s a tip to get started if you’re feeling a little stuck. Think about different categories of life—travel, relationships, personal growth, health, career, hobbies, and so on. Try listing five to ten dreams in each category to help you get the ball rolling. And remember, there are no wrong answers here! If a dream excites you, inspires you, or simply makes you curious, it belongs on the list.
So why is this exercise so effective? Well, when we’re feeling stuck in a rut, we often lose sight of what’s possible. We get so wrapped up in daily responsibilities that our dreams get put on hold. But by putting them down on paper, you’re giving yourself permission to explore possibilities again. And that in itself can be enough to reignite that spark of motivation. Just seeing your dreams written out can shift your mindset from ‘I’m stuck’ to ‘Wow, there’s so much I still want to experience and accomplish!’
So as you create or revisit your List of 100 Dreams, remember that this isn’t about putting pressure on yourself to achieve everything on the list right away. It’s about reconnecting with those little (and big) sparks of joy and possibility. Keep this list somewhere you can revisit it often. Let it be a reminder that there’s always something to reach for, even if it’s just a small dream. And who knows—this might just be the start of something amazing for you.
Resources Mentioned:
- Grab 250 Inspired Goal Ideas for 2025
- Order a 2025 Big Picture Planning Calendar
- 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam
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