How to set boundaries
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I think we can all agree that most of us are juggling a LOT. Whether you’re running a business, raising a family, growing a career, building a side gig or all of the above – if you’re listening to this show, you’re probably a go-getter with a lot on your plate. And maybe even that you’re doing too much.
Juggling. Spinning plates. I know you’ve probably seen somebody juggle, but have you ever actually seen a performer spinning plates on sticks? It always starts with just one plate.
The performer carefully places it on top of a thin rod, then gives it a gentle spin. At first, it wobbles, tilting slightly to one side. But with just the right flick of the wrist, the plate picks up speed, finding its rhythm, spinning smoothly on its own. It’s effortless. Controlled.
So they add another. They set it up, give it a spin, steady it, and once again, the plate starts to move gracefully, balancing perfectly.
Then comes a third. A fourth. A fifth.
At first, the performer moves confidently, keeping up with each new addition. But as more and more plates go up, they have to move faster. Their steps get quicker, their arms stretch wider, rushing back and forth to keep each plate spinning.
And if you watch closely, you’ll notice that they don’t actually focus on all the plates at once. They’re constantly scanning, looking for the one that’s about to slow down, the one that’s starting to wobble—because that’s the one that needs attention right now.
And if they don’t get there fast enough? That plate crashes to the ground.
Honestly? That’s what trying to “do it all” feels like.
At first, it’s just a plate or two. A couple of responsibilities. Work, home, kids, friendships, self-care—manageable. But then life keeps adding more plates. More commitments. More expectations. More things to remember and manage and keep up with.
Before you know it, you’re sprinting from plate to plate, giving everything just enough energy to keep it from crashing down. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had that moment where you realize: I can’t keep this up forever.
That’s why in this episode, I’m revealing how to know when you’re doing too much. Because we’ve all been there – including me, recently.
So in Episode 266, I’m sharing:
- 3 signs that you’ve got entirely too much on your plate and need to let go
- Why struggling to “do it all” isn’t a sign a failure, but an opportunity for growth
- How to ask for help in a way that actually helps
- How my own team has grown over the years – mistakes, lessons and what’s next
The Moment I Realized I Was Doing Too Much
So here’s the thing about the plate spinner: no matter how skilled they are, no matter how fast they move, they will always reach a limit.
At some point, they either run out of hands, or they run out of energy. Maybe a plate slows down and crashes before they can get to it. Maybe they move too fast and knock one over themselves. Or maybe—if they’re really good—they manage to keep everything spinning. But if you watch closely, you can see the strain. The tension. The constant effort it takes to keep everything going.
And that’s exactly what happens when we try to do everything ourselves—whether it’s in business, in motherhood, in marriage, or in life.
For a long time, I truly believed that if I just managed my time well enough, if I just got more organized, if I just worked smarter, I could actually do it all.
And for a while, I was making it work. I was speaking on stages, recording podcast episodes, leading coaching sessions inside It’s About Time Academy, and spending time with my girls. I was showing up in all of the places I wanted to be.
But then—new opportunities started coming my way. Exciting, meaningful opportunities. And I started to realize something: as my business and my personal life continued to grow, I couldn’t just keep adding more plates. There had to be give and take.
I couldn’t do everything.
And I started to see exactly where that give and take was happening. Two things that had always been so important to me were starting to take a hit:
- My availability for the free time management coaching calls that I love offering.
- My capacity to take on new 1:1, VIP coaching clients—one of the most effective ways to create the transformation people want.
I knew something had to change. But even though I knew I needed to hand things off, the idea of doing it felt so overwhelming.
Have you ever asked your husband to do something, and then he asks so many questions that you think, Forget it, I’ll just do it myself?
Or maybe the thought of hiring a babysitter feels like too much because you’d have to explain everything—from bedtime routines to snack preferences to which stuffed animal absolutely must be in the crib, or else.
So instead, we just keep doing it all.
Until one day, we realize: I can’t keep up this pace forever.
That moment came for me last December. Scott and I were at dinner celebrating our year in business – it’s our annual tradition. We spend the day in a conference room at the library in planning mode for both my coaching business and our shared business Studio Pizza Productions – a podcast and YouTube production company for personal brand businesses. And then we go all out at dinner. This year was sushi at this local spot called Bon Sake.
Reflecting on the day, I realized I had a LOT that needed to come off of my plate in order to show up better with what remained. So, over Truffled Snapped Sashimi, I booked a hotel for the next night in New Orleans.
After I arrived the next day and checked in, I found myself sitting in a quiet hotel room, just me, my laptop, and a whole lot of thoughts swirling in my head. I had stepped away from everything—my business, my family, my daily responsibilities—just for one night, because I knew something had to change – and it needed my undivided attention.
I couldn’t keep spinning this many plates anymore.
So I made a plan. I sat down and figured out:
✔ What I needed to get off my plate.
✔ What kind of help I actually needed.
✔ How I would delegate effectively—so I wouldn’t end up micromanaging or redoing everything myself.
And that’s when I truly understood something that I want you to hear loud and clear:
Not being able to do it all doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing.
It’s a sign that your life, your business, your career, your responsibilities—whatever it is that you’re managing—have outgrown what one person can handle. And that’s not failure. That’s progress.
So how do you know when you’ve hit that point? How do you recognize when you’re doing too much before you reach total burnout?
Sometimes, it sneaks up on us. We don’t feel like we’re doing too much because we’re handling it. We’re keeping up. The plates are still spinning.
But then—little things start to happen. The cracks start to show.
3 Signs You Might Be Doing Too Much
Here are three signs that you might be doing too much—and that it’s time to reassess what’s on your plate.
Sign #1: You’re constantly making trade-offs—and not the ones you want
As we go through life, we’re always making trade-offs. That’s just how it is. Choosing how to spend our time. Saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else.
But when you’re doing too much, those trade-offs start to feel out of alignment. You realize you’re saying no to things you want to say yes to—because there’s just no room left.
For me, that looked like pulling back on offering free time management coaching calls and being at capacity with 1:1 VIP members of the It’s About Time Academy. Not because I wanted to, but because there was no way to keep adding more without something else giving way.
For you, it might look like skipping workouts you normally enjoy, saying no to coffee dates with friends, or turning down an exciting opportunity at work because you just can’t imagine taking on one more thing.
If you’re noticing that the things you want to do are getting crowded out by the things you have to do, it might be time to reassess.
Sign #2: Things that used to feel easy now feel overwhelming
Maybe you used to be the kind of person who could whip up dinner without a second thought—but now, even choosing what to make feels like a lot.
Maybe writing emails at work used to be a breeze—but now, you stare at the screen, struggling to find the words.
Or maybe you used to love planning fun things for your family, but now even the idea of making a dinner reservation feels too complicated.
This happens because your mental capacity is stretched to the max. When your brain is juggling too many things at once, even the smallest tasks can feel bigger than they really are.
Kinda like when you have 387 tabs open in your browser and you wonder why your laptop is loading so slowly…
And if something feels overwhelming, you’re probably going to avoid it altogether. That’s why we put off making decisions, why our to-do lists get longer instead of shorter, and why we start telling ourselves, I’ll figure it out later.
So if you’re noticing that simple things feel more difficult than they should—it’s not that you’re bad at time management. It’s probably a sign that you’re carrying too much.
Sign #3: You feel like asking for help would take more effort than just doing it yourself.
This is a BIG one. Let’s be honest—sometimes delegation doesn’t feel helpful.
Have you ever asked someone—your husband, a coworker, even a babysitter—to do something, only to be met with so many questions that you just thought, Never mind, I’ll just do it?
Or maybe you’ve handed something off in the past, but it didn’t go the way you wanted—so you ended up fixing it or redoing it yourself?
This is exactly what Michael Gerber calls “delegation by abdication” in The E-Myth Revisited. It’s one of my favorite oldie-but-goodie business books. It’s when we delegate something quickly, without giving enough direction or clear instructions, because we just want it off our plate. And then, when it doesn’t go well, we swear off delegation entirely.
And that’s exactly how we get stuck in the cycle of doing everything on our own.
But here’s the truth: delegation only works if we take the time to do it well. And yes, that means slowing down at first—so we can speed up later.
If the idea of handing something off feels more stressful than just keeping it for yourself, that’s a sign that you need to delegate—but in a way that actually works.
3 Steps to Take If You’re Doing Too Much
Step 1: Get Clear on What You Need Help With
The biggest mistake people make when they delegate? They delegate too vaguely.
Instead of saying, I need help with housework, get specific. Do you need someone to unload the dishwasher? Handle laundry from start to finish? Pack lunches for the kids?
Instead of saying, I need help in my business, break it down. Do you need someone to handle emails? Post on social media? Upload podcast episodes?
When I first hired a Virtual Assistant, I thought I needed help, but I didn’t take the time to define what kind of help I needed. Everything lived in my head, and I wasn’t clear on my expectations.
But when I hired my second VA, I did things differently. I mapped out specific tasks, created simple checklists, and made sure I was setting them up for success from the start. And that made all the difference.
So before you delegate, ask yourself:
✔ What exactly do I need help with?
✔ What does success look like?
✔ What tools or instructions will make this easier?
The clearer you are, the smoother delegation will go.
Step 2: Communicate Clearly—Without Micromanaging
Once you know what you need help with, the next step is setting expectations.
This doesn’t mean creating a 10-page instruction manual for loading the dishwasher or running a Zoom training on how to pack school lunches. But it does mean giving just enough direction so the other person can do the job well—without you having to step in and fix it.
A quick checklist. A voice memo with instructions. A shared note on your phone.
It doesn’t have to be complicated—but it does have to be clear.
Step 3: Trust the Process
This might be the hardest part—letting go of control and allowing someone else to step in.
And yes, sometimes they’ll do things differently than you would.
Yes, it might take a little patience.
And yes, you might need to make tweaks along the way.
But when you commit to delegating well, you give yourself the space to focus on the things that only you can do.
And that’s exactly what I did when I made the decision to grow my team.
I realized that in order to show up where I truly wanted to—leading coaching sessions, serving my clients, spending time with my girls—I needed to bring in more support.
So that’s exactly what I did.
And I’m so excited to share that It’s About Time is growing in a big way.
An Exciting Announcement
That December night alone with my laptop in a hotel room, I not only made the decision to grow the It’s About Time team, but I also spent time mapping out exactly what I needed help with, how I wanted that help, the qualities and qualifications of the individuals who would be the best fit, and how I would find, interview, hire, and train them. By the time I was done, I had a 12 page Google Doc and my head was spinning from all of the strategy development. I was exhausted and excited all at the same time.
As you know, I’ve had support in some way since my very first year in business—from my first podcast editor, Jeanette Tapley, to my amazing Virtual Assistants Hannah and Morgan, to my current podcast editor (who just so happens to be my husband, Scott!). And now my Executive Assistant Erin and my Marketing Manager Elisa.
Over time, my team has grown and evolved, and now, I’m thrilled to announce that It’s About Time is growing again.
We have two brand-new team members joining us, and I cannot wait for you to meet them.
These incredible women will be playing a huge role in supporting you, our listeners, and our It’s About Time Academy members. One will be serving as a Time Management Coach & Enrollment Coordinator, helping women like you take control of their time with personalized support in our free time management coaching calls. And the other is joining us as an Associate Coach, helping our All-Star and VIP Academy members implement what they’re learning so they can see real results in their daily lives.
Make sure you’re subscribed to my email list, because I’m sharing all of the details exclusively with my email subscribers on Wednesday!And if you’re inside the It’s About Time Academy, you already got the big news this morning—so be sure to say hello and welcome them inside the community!
Resources Mentioned:
- Spinning Plates Video
- The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It by Michael E. Gerber
- Join Anna’s weekly newsletter
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